Bravery

Back in November, when I went back on JDate, I got an e-mail from a guy who’d heard my ex and me give speeches at High Holiday services about how we’d found the shul and each other, blah blah blah yay romance. So this guy e-mailed me through JDate and said that since he didn’t think I was the type to go online for one last fling before my wedding, he guessed it hadn’t worked out, and he was sorry to hear it. He himself is divorced, and a very nice guy. We had a date in December and another in January, and spent most of the time talking about my broken engagement and his divorce. (Dating as therapy…gotta love it.) After the second date, he left me a voicemail indicating that he’d love to go out again. I called him back and said that he was a great guy, but I didn’t think I was quite ready to date. He understood, and even e-mailed me the next day to say how classy I was for calling him to tell him that, and how much he appreciated it.

Since then, we’ve been in touch sporadically. He came to one of my young adults’ group’s lunches, I invited him to my birthday party (and he even brought a present), and then a month or so ago, I saw him at the cantor’s son’s bar mitzvah. We sat together during services and at lunch, and had a lot of fun chatting. And ever since, he’s been on my mind.

So last evening, I called him, hands almost shaking, and after a few minutes of chit-chat, I said:

“You might remember that a few months ago, I called you and said I wasn’t ready to date yet. Well, it’s been a few months…and I think I’m there now. So I was wondering, would you like to have dinner or something on Saturday night?”

He was definitely surprised (“Oh! Um, wow.”) and said that this weekend wouldn’t work for him, but he asked if he could call me next week to try to make plans.

Whether or not he calls, whether or not we date, whether or not this goes anywhere…I’m glad I took the chance. It’s been forever since I asked a guy out, and I’m proud of myself for doing it. And it only took about 20 minutes after the phone call for my hands to stop shaking.

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