Change for the sake of change

Almost two years ago, I was frightfully overworked, putting in 11-hour days on top of a 2-hour (round-trip) commute. I’d talked to my boss more than once, explaining that this was not a sustainable pace for me, asking what we could do to make the workload more manageable. Each time, he’d say that “in a few months” we’d get over the hump, “in a few months” things would calm down, “in a few months” maybe I could work from home (or from the office only 2.5 miles from my apartment) once a week. Finally, I’d had enough. I interviewed with another employer, after a recruiter described to me a job that sounded fascinating. During the interview, it became clear that the job I’d been described bore no relation to the job that was actually available, and in fact the person interviewing me said that as far as he knew, the job that had been described didn’t exist at all. The job that he had to offer sounded like the more boring aspects of the job I already had, and it was a step down (no office, no direct reports)…but I was so desperate for a change, I jumped at the chance. And from almost the very beginning, I was unhappy with the job, because it was boring, unchallenging, and stultifying. And one of my coworkers has had an undercurrent of animosity toward me since the day I started there, which has only gotten worse over time.

I wrote a couple of months ago about the conversations with my boss’s boss. In the end, he recommended that I pursue a position as a Project Manager in a different department. The job as posted is a bit junior for someone with my experience, but he said that it could be tailored to my skills. He, at least, is quite impressed with me and thinks I’m a valuable asset to the company. I never had a formal interview, which is a bit odd (though I did speak with the woman who is the head of that department — she’s the one I went to Texas with in March for the first day of my business trip). I never really got a sense of what specifically the job entails, which is also odd. On Tuesday, HR — not the department head — called me and offered me the job. On Wednesday, I accepted it. Once again, I’m taking a job almost solely because it will be doing different work with different people. I am just hoping I won’t get burned again. For the first time since college, I will not be working in the field for which I am trained. This new position, as I understand it, is far less technical. Thank goodness.

I used to love being part of my field. (Side note: yes, you all know what I do for a living. I’m avoiding the word because I don’t want somebody to be able to Google my field, find this blog, and figure out who I am.) I derived a great deal of joy and satisfaction from working in the industry I’d chosen. And I realized the other day, that my current job (and in particular, my coworker) has really destroyed all the joy I used to have in my profession. So this change is daunting, but I need a change, and this was the easiest one to make.

I will give this job a solid six-month try. And if I’m still unhappy after six months, I will either move to another city where I will have an easier time finding work in my field (the City of Angels is just not the place to be for my line of work), or apply to business school.

In other news, I went to a speed-dating thing last week with a friend of mine. It was, of course, a Jewish speed-dating event, though the company offers lots of speed-dating events, most of which are not specifically Jewish. Math Boy was there (he’d invited me to come along, which was funny since the friend I went with is the friend I’d wanted him to meet). When he began his four-minute “date” with me, he told me he’d put me down as a yes immediately. (Each person enters a Yes or No online for each of the eligible bachelor/ettes. If two parties put down Yes for each other, each is informed of the match.) I’m not sure if that was because we’re friends, or because he’s interested in going out again (he just took the exam he was studying for back when we had our last date), or what. But anyway, I put “yes” for 4 guys (including Math Boy) and got matches with all 4 of them. So far, one has e-mailed and asked for my number, and he subsequently called and left a message. One sent a “drink” through the speed-dating website, which I thought was kind of lame. A “drink” is like a “flirt” or a “tease” — it’s a non-committal way to show interest…which is kind of POINTLESS considering we clearly were both interested since we were MATCHED and all. The other two (including Math Boy) have not gotten in touch at all.

And a gentleman on the Board at shul wants to set me up with a lawyer in his firm. He’s planning to invite us both for a Shabbat dinner. Could be fun. I will wait to see how things go with this guy, and with the speed-dating guys…and after all of that, if none of them end up being more than a “one-date-wonder,” I will pony up $100 for another 3-month stint on JDate. Be still, my beating heart.

Oh — and for those who are curious, my friend put a Yes for Math Boy, but it wasn’t reciprocated. (Yeah, math joke. Sorry.) And far more interesting (or entertaining, at any rate) are the guys I said “No” to, rather than “Yes.”

1) “Hi. I’m not actually Jewish. I just like speed-dating.”
2) “I went to SDSU. I partied so hard, I failed almost everything.”
3) “Are you on JDate?” ‘Yes.’ “Yeah, the women on JDate all tend to be heavier than they say on their profiles.”
4) “So. Um. Hi.” “Hi.” “Um. Um. Um.”

Some real charmers…

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3 Responses to Change for the sake of change

  1. Beth says:

    Good luck with the new job! I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you. Just out of curiosity… if you end up leaving LA where would you go? Any ideas? You know me, I’ll visit you anywhere!

    How was your birthday?

    Stacy,
    Thank you for posting about your age when you married and had kids. My husband and I (married in October) were recently told to hurry up and have kids because we don’t want to be too old to chase after them. (I turn 30 next week and he’s 32.) Of course this woman recently had her third child (first for her second marriage) and she’s 2 years older than me… so she’s not too old to chase after a baby? I’m really glad to hear that you don’t regret waiting and enjoying your marriage for a while before starting a family.

  2. Stacey says:

    I am so sorry to hear that your career-life has been so disappointing in your past few jobs. I am really hoping that this new position is fulfilling for you (even though it isn’t totally in your field).

    I think of you often and feel terrible that I haven’t emailed you back. Life has been so hectic here (after the takeover at work) and with my 3-yr. old who won’t potty-train (after 6 months of hell, she’s not made no strides at all in this area). I haven’t blogged in forever.

    Good luck w/the introduction from the man at shul. You just never know when you will meet “him.” There are absolutely no doubts in my mind that you will meet him soon. Hang in there, Li’l Sis.

    Beth,
    Mazel tov on your recent simcha! Truly, you are still young! I am almost 39 and if the husband was up for it, I’d have another in a heartbeat!! I love chasing after them and besides, they keep you young!!

  3. Stacey says:

    OMG, I need to proof my comments!! That funky sentence originally said “…she’s not made one stride”…but when I changed it I forgot to nuke the “not.” LOL. I swear I’m not illiterate!

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