Last date

Saturday night, I had what ended up being my last date with Math Boy, the guy I liked best of all the dates I’ve had since the break-up. Of course, I didn’t know it was going to be our last date. We went to a dueling piano bar, and the whole time he shied away from making any physical contact with me whatsoever. It was as if he’d suddenly become shomer negiah, and this is the guy who told me that his extent of keeping kosher was, “I don’t eat pork. Well…except for bacon.” So, probably not shomer negiah, then. We were alternately chatting and listening to the music. After a slight lull in conversation, apropos of nothing, he turned to me and said, “Y’know, I think we should just be friends.”

“Um. Okay…?”

“Well, I’m not really used to dating, and I don’t tend to go out that much, and I’m studying for an exam…”

“Okay. You know, we did already have the conversation about how neither of us is looking for anything serious right now.”


And that, dear readers, was the end of that.

At first I thought to myself, what did I do? Did I turn him off, or somehow become less attractive to him? And then I realized…I could just believe him. Take it at face value. He doesn’t want to date anyone, or maybe he doesn’t want to go out with anyone more than a couple of times. Or maybe he simply doesn’t want to go out with me, and this was his gentle way of saying that the chemistry we’d both felt on the first two dates had fizzled out. Heaven knows I’ve given the “not a good match” speech more times than I can count. And that’s the whole idea behind “NGNC.” When I label a guy NGNC, it’s not because he did anything wrong; it’s just that, for whatever reason, I don’t feel anything romantic toward him. And what happened with Math Boy is probably the very same thing. I’ve certainly experienced chemistry that fizzles out after a date or two.

So I realize, and — more importantly — I actually believe, that I didn’t do anything “wrong.” It’s not about me. I’m still a little disappointed, since I had fun spending time with him, and I liked having someone to go out with on Saturday nights. And now there’s no way I’ll have a date for Valentine’s Day, and I was hoping that 2007 would be the second year in my life (2000 being the first and only) that I would. But I don’t really feel rejected, which is a nice change for me. Yay for progress.


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