OK, I miss blogging. So I’m going to start again. I will still post recipes occasionally, never you fear. And I’m not ready to link this out to the wide world yet, so I don’t expect many people to find it or comment on it…As far as I know, two or three people are aware of this blog’s existence.
Anyway. One month from today, I am not getting married. Well, technically, I suppose, there are lots of days when I’m not getting married, but you know what I mean. When my ex called off our wedding, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to get over it. I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to flirt with another guy, or go out with another guy, or anything. But in the nearly three months since the break-up, I have gone out with, I think, 5 different guys. One of them wanted to get serious, and I told him he could try calling me in a few months, but I’m not ready for anything like that yet. One has been very persistent even though we’ve yet to actually have a second date. One was for sure a one-date-wonder (NGNC – nice guy, no chemistry). One was worthy of two dates, maybe more. One (Math Boy) is the one I’m most interested in out of all of them, and he called the other night for two reasons: one, to invite me out to a couple of parties on Saturday night; and two, in his words: “I don’t want to be presumptuous or think too far ahead, but I don’t know what you’re looking for, and right now I’m not really looking for anything serious, since most of my free time will be spent studying for a big exam.” Perfect! Exactly what I wanted.
So. I still cry randomly when I think about what I’ve lost and what I miss. And there’s a lot that I miss. But I do know that it was for the best, that it will make me stronger. And I hope it will make me a better person / girlfriend / hopefully someday fiancee / wife…And for now, I am proud of myself for getting back out there, for staying positive as much as I can, and for not giving up.
And I am really grateful for my family and friends who have been there for me, calling and inviting me out to make sure I’m leaving the house, checking in on me to make sure I’m not wallowing in too much self-pity, etc. I really am lucky.