The multiplicity of one-ness

Last post, I wrote:

“Must not get too attached to Boston Boy. (Too late!)”

Well, apparently I’m not alone. We IM’ed for a while this evening, during which time he wrote:

In all honesty, I do think this could be the beginning of something more substantial then just entertaining flirtation.

From there, there was a bit (a very little bit) of discussion of that concept…during which he worried I might think he was nuts, to which I responded, “Not nuts, and I’m glad you said it first.” There was also a bit of discussion wherein we found that we both believe that there is more than one “The One” out there for any given individual. And we both acknowledged that “The Multiplicity of Ones” was clearly the title of a math paper just begging to be written.

Still not really holding my breath. Well, maybe a little.

But anyway, it put me in a super-good mood. And now I am exhausted, so off to bed I go.

This, that, and the other thing

Thanksgiving weekend was wonderful, of course, because I got to spend lots of quality time with my parents. I got a haircut while I was there — my first-ever experience with layers — and continued my streak of having good things happen when I go to my parents’ synagogue. Back when I lived in New York, I went to shul with my folks and first met a friend of theirs who said, “You’re single, and you went to the big H, and you live in New York? I have a nephew who has all three of those things in common with you. If you’re interested, give me your card, and I’ll have him call you.” Minutes later, I met other friends of my parents who said, “We were planning to go to New York for our anniversary, and we bought to tickets to Madame Butterfly at the Met. But then we decided to go to Israel instead. And our opera tickets are non-refundable. Would you like them?” So I had not just a date, but a place to go with said date. (The opera was wonderful. The guy was pretty good — three or four good dates — right up until he disappeared off the face of the earth.)

So this time, I met an allergist friend of my parents, who said that my being allergic to nickel and unable to wear even 18K or sterling silver earrings didn’t mean that all was lost…He recommended I try titanium earrings, which are apparently super-duper-hyper-hypo-allergenic. I haven’t worn earrnings since my brother’s wedding 4 years ago. Generally, I wear earrnings once every several years, and then only for a few hours…and then my ears are red and painful for the next 3 or 4 days. But I’ve been wearing these 24/7 since Sunday morning, and my ears look fine. I desperately want to take them out (they hurt a bit, and I miss sleeping on my side), but I’ve essentially re-pierced my ears, and “they” (my parents and the chick at the Piercing Pagoda) agree that I need to leave in the earrings for several WEEKS. I suppose I must suffer for my beauty… ;)

Tonight I caught up with Boston Boy for the first time since the phone convo I wrote about before. We talked on the phone for an hour or so…then realized, we both have computers with web-cams, so we video-chatted on Skype for another hour and a half. SO much fun. He has a fatal flaw, though (well, besides, y’know, living in Boston) — he has two cats. And I am super-duper allergic to cats. And, really, anything with fur. That’s in addition to nickel (which translates to, I’m allergic to cheap jewelry, which honestly isn’t so bad). And one antibiotic. And certain vegetables. And laundry detergents with fragrances in them. Yeah, it’s fun to be me.

Anyway. Must not get too attached to Boston Boy. (Too late!)

Closer to home, there’s a rab student with a BIG crush on me. Sweet guy, but not really ready for a relationship, I’m thinking. He converted to Judaism (not sure when, at least a few years ago though). He recently – like a couple months ago – ended a 4-year relationship. Then he kinda went crazy with the drinking and the partying and such. Then he took a Nazarite vow (no meat, no alcohol, no haircuts — think Samson, as in “and Delilah”) for a month to cleanse his system. That month ended just recently. So I’m thinking, he needs to get to know himself again, and figure out who and what and where he is in life. But he invited me to a party on Sat. night, which beats spending $36 for a Federation Chanukah party with a bunch of people I won’t know (this party will be a bunch of people I do know, plus some I don’t know).

And now I must get back to cleaning (well, straightening up and putting stuff away) in preparation for my super-duper cleaning dude who comes tomorrow.

Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving, one and all! I called my sister this morning to wish her a happy T’giving, and mentioned that I’m a whole lot more thankful this year than last. I am grateful for my amazing family, my incredible friends, my supportive community. I am grateful to G-d for giving me the strength I needed to survive the past year. I’m grateful to my ex for calling off the wedding, because if he hadn’t, I suspect we’d be divorcing. And I am grateful for the many, many blessings in my life.

And in other news, I’ve been tagged by the lovely Samantha.

Here are the Rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are TAGGED by leaving a comment on their blog.

OK, here we go…

1. I hate walking less than about 10 feet behind someone. I will put on a burst of speed and pass the offender. Often when this happens, I have a racetrack commentary in my head: “And Midnite99 is closing in…and she takes a commanding lead!” Bizarre.

2. I was once in a fight, in junior high school. I use the term “fight” loosely, because really I was knocked around a few times; I suspect I did absolutely nothing defensive or offensive in said “fight.” Some girl a year ahead of me (and at least two years older than I, since I am young for my year) and somewhat bigger than I made lewd, insulting comments about my sister at lunch. I said, “You can’t say that about my sister.” She said, “Who’s gonna stop me — you?” I gulped, swallowed, and said, “Um, yeah!” None of my friends were in my lunch period, because they were all in band or chorus and had a later lunch. So this girl led me out of the cafeteria into the anteroom that had racks for books and backpacks, and she slammed me into it a few times, then walked away, laughing. I stood there, stunned, for a few minutes, then went to the principal’s office because I didn’t know where else to go. He asked what had happened and I told him, though I refused to repeat what the girl had said (to this day, I’ve never told anyone). Apparently, he called my Mom at work and told her, “Your daughter Midnite99 was in a fight today — and we’re so proud of her!”

3. I have a terrible short-term memory. If I don’t write it down immediately, I will forget it. This is true at work, at home, etc. If I have to do an errand after work and it’s not on my usual path, I will sing a song about it over and over and over until I’ve turned onto the proper street or what have you. For example: “I’m gonna get some gas today, gas today, gas today. I’m gonna get some gas today, before my car runs out.”

4. I’ve more or less given up my infeasible dream of being an astronaut, because (even post-LASIK) my vision isn’t good enough, and I don’t know any astrophysics. But if I could do absolutely anything in the world and not have to worry about money, I would want to try my hand at being a writer.

5. I’m still sort of semi-secretly hoping that, living in LA, I will eventually be discovered and cast in a movie and become a star.

OK, here’s where I’m supposed to tag 5 people. But there aren’t so many people who have blogs of their own who know about this blog, so that will be tricky. But I can do three: Stacey, Loverville, and Michelle — tag, you’re it!

Moving on

Thanks for the support…I saw it coming, of course, so it’s not such a heartbreak. It’s just disappointing. But plenty of fish and all that. So I’m back on JDate, though I haven’t paid yet this time ’round. Of course, the most interesting guy is one I first “met” in February who’s just peachy-keen except for one fatal flaw: he lives in Boston. Now, I know that R and J met on JDate whilst 3,000 miles apart, and their courtship had a gloriously happy ending in the form of a beautiful wedding a year and a half ago. But I’m not really expecting that to happen for me, because, well, those kinds of things never happen to me. I don’t live a fairy-tale life. But BostonBoy and I did IM for a while Saturday night and again Sunday evening, and then we ended up talking on the phone for a little over an hour Sunday night. Fun stuff. He might be visiting a friend in San Diego in the next month or two, but I’m not exactly holding my breath.

Tonight was fun — sushi with a friend, followed by my college friends’ annual Wild Turkey pre-T’giving party. To get in the door, you have to drink a shot of Wild Turkey. The evite says that if you don’t drink alcohol, you’re exempt; and if you’re vegetarian, they’ll provide a shot of Wild Tofurkey. Heh. The friends who were hosting are gay, and I was amazed to find one other woman there. We bonded over the fact that none of the guys noticed how cute we looked.

Tomorrow I am taking the bus to work to get there at 7, then SuperShuttle will pick me up at 2 to go to LAX with about 10 million of my closest friends. Presuming that the TSA understands that pie is not liquid, I will arrive in AZ with a crustless cranberry pie, as follows…

Crustless Cranberry Pie
(adapted from here)

1/2 c white flour
1/2 c wheat flour
1 c sugar/Splenda baking blend
1/4 tsp salt
2 c cranberries
1/3 c slivered almonds
1/2 c applesauce
1/2 c Eggbeaters, beaten
1 tsp almond extract

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Spray 9 inch pie pan or springform.
3. Combine the flours, sugar and salt.
4. Stir in the cranberries and almonds; toss to coat.
5. Stir in the applesauce, Eggbeaters, and almond extract.
6. Spread the batter into the prepared pan.
7. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean.

Suddenly single

blah blah blah, “I like you very much and we have great chemistry…” blah blah blah, religion….blah blah blah, lifestyle…blah blah blah, “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

In an e-mail.

JDate, here I come. Again.

Wacky wild world wide web

Search terms that led people here

Food and recipes
chocolate appetizers
chocolate sushi recipes [ed. note: um, ew.]
using applesauce in wacky cake
worldwide weird recipes

Dating
“doesn’t want to date anyone”
first date played miniature golf in silence
“great guy” no chemistry
Why Are Boys So Weird [ed. note: if only I knew...]
asked me to marry him second date
a guy hasn’t called me back in a week
“scare him off” “love talking to him”

Random
is it ok to take 2 claritins? [ed. note: yes.]
funny stories of old married couples
mud wrestling [ed. note: heh.]
GODDESS. MUD WRESTLING
apt managers that wont listen
Control Freaks Torah

I am one of those melodramatic fools…

…neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it.

Argh.

I really, really wish I could just relax.

I saw A. four times last week. Pretty clear that he is interested in me, yes? But I last saw him Saturday night. We’ve e-mailed only a little; he has a bad headache and a ton of work and plans every night this week. I asked if, for a change, he’d like to come over and let me cook dinner for him this Saturday night, but he can’t because he’s having dinner at his Mom’s house with her and his aunts. Although I am venting to my friends (and my parents, and my brother-in-law), I am smart enough not to call him and say, “Pay attention to meeeeee!” I e-mailed him the other day, when he’d told me about his plans with family plus his work project that had sort of exploded, “Yikes, I hope things calm down soon. Will I at least get to see you again before T’giving? :)” He wrote back – a day later – a more chatty e-mail (still stressed) that included, “Hope all is well, and it will be before Turkey Day, I am sure!” So that was a little reassuring.

Tonight I am cooking and baking for Shabbat lunch. Once the peppers were stuffed and baked, the pumpkin bread was in the oven, and the chicken was marinating, I saw that he was still online at work, so I IMed him. It was a short conversation, nothing special, and I’d typed that I didn’t want to bother him at work and was really just saying hi. He wrote back that he actually had to go because he’s having dinner at a trendy new restaurant, and after a quick “talk to you later,” he signed off.

I know that he’s busy, and he has a life, and presumably he is still interested in me or he would either stop e-mailing or take the “in a relationship with Midnite99″ out of his Facebook profile (yay Facebook) or actually, y’know, break up with me. I get that, intellectually. It’s just that thanks to my idiot ex, I am just so insecure that every new guy in my life is going to abandon me. Sigh.

My brother-in-law is in town for work, and we had dinner (kosher Subway) last night. His advice was not to worry. He told me, “You have to have the attitude that you’re the best girl in the world, the most beautiful, the smartest, and he’s lucky to have you.” My brother-in-law is pretty cool. He also said that although my ex was a horse’s patootie (as my father would say), I can’t blame other guys for that. My brother-in-law, in addition to being pretty cool, is also pretty smart.

And I KNOW all this stuff. Really, I do. Which is the most frustrating part, actually, because if I know it in my head, why am I having so much trouble knowing it in my heart?

Why, yes, it has been a long week, how’d you know?

* * *

For Shabbat lunch, I’m letting guests provide: green vegetable or salad, salatim (hummus, guacamole, etc), wine, fruit, and dessert. (It’s the first time I’ve “outsourced” dessert in AGES.) I am making:

* Chicken marinated in the same (store-bought) wasabi teryaki sauce that was so awesome on tofu last month.

* Stuffed peppers

Ingredients:
Cooking spray
8 bell peppers (red, orange, yellow — all taste better than green to me — just make sure they can stand up)
1 box Near East Mediterranean Curry couscous mix
1 onion, chopped
2 medium zucchini, chopped
oregano
salt
tomato-mushroom sauce [made last week (with some cherry tomatoes, tomato paste, mushrooms, garlic, and various spices) to go with spaghetti squash]
1/3 pound dried chickpeas, soaked overnight and drained [canned would work fine]

Preheat oven to 350.

Spray a baking dish big enough to hold 8 peppers. Cut tops off peppers, scoop out membranes and seeds. Put in baking dish and roast for 15 minutes, then remove from oven and cool until filling is ready — which in my case was the same time they were ready to come out of the oven.

Meanwhile:

Prepare couscous according to package directions.

Spray a large non-stick skillet with spray. Add onion, zucchini, oregano, and salt, and stir over medium heat about 5 minutes until most of their liquid has been released and evaporated, and veggies are soft. Remove from heat; stir in tomato sauce and chickpeas until well-mixed. Stir in couscous until well-mixed.

Carefully spoon mixture into peppers. Bake 15 minutes. (I had enough stuffing left over that I could have filled another couple of peppers, but the yellow ones were small and the orange ones were big but misshapen, leading to deceptively small cavities.)

If it weren’t a meat meal, I would have stirred some feta into the stuffing, or topped the peppers with grated parmesean.

* Spicy sweet potato “fries” — Slice a few sweet potatoes into wedges or fry-like shapes. Put in ziploc bag with a couple Tbsps olive oil, a few shakes each of salt, freshly ground pepper, cayenne pepper, and curry powder. Shake until all fries are coated evenly. Line a baking sheet with foil, spray with a bit more spray just to be safe. Dump fries onto sheet in a single layer if possible. Maybe season a bit more if you think you should. Bake at 400 for 10 minutes, then turn all fries over, and bake another 10 minutes. Serve with ketchup.

* Pumpkin bread to supplement the challah my Mom brought me Labor Day weekend

1 cup wheat flour
1/2 cup white flour
1 cup sugar/Splenda mix
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup pumpkin purée
1/2 cup applesauce
2 eggs, beaten (1/2 cup Eggbeaters)
1/4 cup water
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon allspice
(or, replace the previous 3 with 1 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice)

Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray a loaf pan (9×5x3, maybe?) and set aside.

Mix flours, sugar/Splenda, and baking soda in large bowl.

Mix the pumpkin, applesauce, eggs, water, and spices together with a wooden spoon.

Make a well in the dry ingredients, and pour the wet ingredients into the well. Mix with wooden spoon, but don’t over-mix.

Pour into prepared pan. Bake 50-60 minutes until a toothpick poked in the very center of the loaf comes out clean (took 52 minutes here). Turn out of the pan and let cool on a rack. Wrap in foil until serving.

Oh, how the years go by

Wait, where did October go? How is it November already?

OK, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Let’s see…the week before I left for vacation was awesome. Monday night I saw a Broadway concert with a friend; she has declared me her new theatre buddy, which totally works for me. Tuesday was the night I was officially declared not-single. Wednesday was…um, a blur of packing and cleaning and such. Thursday night was girls’ night — several of my friends came here first for appetizers (port which was SO yummy, crackers, gruyere and blue cheese, halved cherry tomatoes, baby carrots), then we met up with the rest of our crowd at a nearby sushi restaurant. There were a dozen of us total, and the meal cost less than $20 per person on average (including an 18% tip!). We had a blast. And I realized, looking around the table, that of the 11 women there, only one had been a close friend of mine a year ago. Five were people I knew a year ago, but only casually. And five were people who only moved to town within the last year (4 only arrived during the summer!). Yet they’re now all friends of mine. I’ve been to meals at almost all of their apartments, and have had most of them over to mine. It’s amazing how much can happen in a year.

And on the Friday that I was leaving (on an 11.30 red-eye), A. e-mailed me at work to say he could come over to say goodbye before I left, and he offered to take me to the airport. So I cancelled my SuperShuttle reservation, made us a last-minute Shabbat dinner, and got to spend a couple extra hours with him, which was nice. Then off I went to the East Coast, where I saw my brother, sister-in-law, and niece in NJ; two friends from work, one friend from college, and an old family friend in NYC; friends from college in Bethesda and DC; and friends from LA in Potomac. Good stuff, all around. My friends rock.

A. picked me up from the airport Sunday night, and we hung out again on Monday night. On Wednesday, I had a long-overdue dinner with Samantha and got to catch up with her, which was so good. A. was coming over after dinner, so she met him, and I am very glad that at least one of my friends has met him in person! She left, and A. and I just hung out for a bit before he went to a Halloween event at a club where a friend of his was DJing around 11.30. That’s past my bedtime, though, so at his recommendation, I opted out.

After services on Friday night, I had dinner right near Universal Studios, at my friend D.’s brother’s condo. D. is a friend from USY and from college; he lives in Boston but was in town for a conference. I hadn’t seen him in about three years. I got a bit lost on the way there, twice — first, somehow I totally missed Highland and had to backtrack, then I found Highland and got on Caheunga but somehow (without turning) ended up on some totally dark street that dead-ended in a chain-link fence and gate that said, “No Public Access.” Then I remembered that I have a GPS, so I plugged her in and let her guide me the rest of the way.

Saturday morning, I led the first half of services, and later went to lunch at a friend’s apartment. She has a cat, and before I go to her place I always medicate heavily, which gets me through for about an hour to an hour and a half. Saturday night, A. taught a friend of his (the one who’d DJed on Halloween) to make sushi, and her girlfriend and I got to reap the fruits of their labors. I didn’t want to show up empty-handed, so I made truffles (see below) which were a BIG hit. The girls also live right near Universal, and I managed not to get lost, which was a plus.

After dinner, I followed A. back to his place so we could hang out for a while, taking advantage of the fact that although it felt like 11, effectively it was only 10 because of changing the clocks. I have so far changed my watch and my microwave clock (and the car’s clock), but haven’t yet hit my alarm clock, the spare room alarm clock, or the clock and old digital watch in my bathroom. The cable box, computer, and cell phone are all smart enough to change themselves.

As you might have guessed, things with A. are going well. I am trying (a) not to jinx myself, (b) to stay in the moment and not get too far ahead of myself, (c) not to make up problems where none exist. I told my friend D. on Friday night that I hadn’t heard from A. since Wednesday, and normally we e-mail daily. But when D. heard that I’d seen him three times that week already, and had plans for Saturday night (though I didn’t know when or where), he said that for sure I shouldn’t worry. His advice was, “As long as the next date is planned, you definitely don’t have to worry.” Good rule of thumb.

This past Shabbat marked the 36th anniversary of the Library Minyan, the lay-led minyan at my shul. They had special services and a dinner and luncheon over Shabbat, possibly some sort of party last night, and speakers today. I did not attend any of it except Friday night services, since they were combined with the service I normally attend. When I saw the Exec Director on Friday night, she asked if I were going to the Sunday event, and I said no. She asked, “Could you stop by just to meet someone?” It took me a moment to understand, and then I sort of stumbled over my words to say, “Oh! Um, I’m actually seeing someone right now, so, um, no.” It’s funny, I am not at all used to having a boyfriend. But I wouldn’t mind getting used to it.

Last Friday, 26 October, I started the day with H. in Bethesda, then went to R. & J.’s place in Potomac where I was spending Shabbat. That day marked one year since the “disengagement,” which honestly only occurred to me a few times during the day. R. told me that she was so proud of me for the growth and self-awareness I’ve achieved during the last year. H. asked if I would ever have believed then, that now I’d be healthy and happy and healed, and totally ga-ga over a new guy. When I got back to LA, a friend e-mailed me to ask if he could give my e-mail or phone number to a friend of his in New York who is in a bad state after recently being dumped (out of the blue) by her fiance. My friend ended his e-mail with, “Just let me know. (And see what a difference a year makes?)”

In the last year, I’ve cemented a few friendships with people who were incredibly supportive; I’ve let a few friendships drift away with people who weren’t; I’ve become friends with people I hardly knew (or hadn’t even met) a year ago. Time really is an amazingly powerful healer.

* * *

Pumpkin Chocolate Almond Truffles with Amaretto

The original recipe was this.

Ingredients:
1/2 c pumpkin puree
4 ounces bittersweet chocolate
3 Tbsp margarine
1/4 c amaretto (or kahlua, or other liqueur — strong cold coffee would probably work, too)
2 egg yolks (OR 2 Tbsp Eggbeaters — or in my case, 2 Tbsp Simply Whites)
1 c toasted almonds*, ground
2 c powdered (or superfine) sugar
Cocoa powder (for coating truffles)

1. Spoon pumpkin puree onto double layer of paper towels, cover with another double layer of paper towels, and press gently to squeeze out excess liquid. Leave covered with paper towels until step 4.

2. Melt chocolate and margarine in medium-to-large mixing bowl in microwave for 45 seconds and stir. Microwave again for another 45 seconds. Stir gently until chocolate is completely melted and mixture is smooth. Let cool a few minutes. (Use this time to measure out your other ingredients.)

3. Stir in liqueur and egg yolk. Whisk until smooth.

4. Add ground almonds, sugar, and pumpkin. Whisk or stir until smooth.

5. Cover loosely with plastic wrap, refrigerate at least one hour.

6. Pour some cocoa (start with 1/3 cup, you can always add more if you need it) into a shallow bowl. Remove truffle mixture from fridge. Scoop with a mellon baller and roll into small balls (3/4 inch diameter, maybe?) and roll them in cocoa. Put in wax-paper-lined airtight container. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Made approx. 36 truffles.

*To toast almonds: either stir often in [ungreased!] saucepan over medium heat until golden brown, or bake at 350 on [ungreased!] baking sheet for 10-15 minutes and stir occasionally

Notes:

I had to make a few changes and substitutions which I was afraid had rendered the mixture unusable — for one thing, I was planning to use two egg yolks’ worth of Eggbeaters, but my Eggbeaters had gone bad and all I had was “Simply Whites.” I figured the yolk was there as a binder to hold the mixture together, and I didn’t think egg whites would work, and indeed the mix was really gooey and sticky. But I managed to shape it into small balls, which held their shape after being rolled in cocoa powder, and they were SO yummy.

Also, I couldn’t find ground almonds (or almond meal, or almond flour) at the store. I had slivered almonds which I ground in the food processor, but I didn’t toast them first. I suspect that toasting them gets rid of their moisture, so that when they’re ground you actually get something like flour. Since mine retained their moisture, I got something a bit more textured than flour. I decided to add the word “Almond” to the name of the truffle — i.e., treat it as a feature, not a bug.

I didn’t realize when I began that I didn’t have any powdered sugar (oops!). I did have superfine sugar (which you can buy directly, or you can make by running an equivalent amount of granulated sugar through a food processor for about 30-60 seconds — if you do this, make sure you wait a minute before you open the food processor so you don’t choke on a cloud of sugar dust!). It seemed to work just fine.

I made a double recipe and got more truffles out of it than the 28 the original recipe indicated. I must have a smaller mellon baller or something. I’ve given the measurements and quantities that I used. Also, mine might be somewhat healthier since I used trans-fat-free Smart Balance margarine rather than butter.